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I love you
I've never stopped loving you
 I just... forgot.

Forgot your parts that smell like no one's ever cleaned them in the last 169 years
Forgot how you make people's hair smell like they've spent ages exposed to exhaust fume in a 2x2 garage
Forgot how you made me cry in the middle of the night for the 1289537th time in the year
Forgot how you've made me break all of my year's promises on January the 2nd
Forgot how you left me crying in my pillow when J left 
Forgot how you took all of my dignity when J fucked a random guy on the train and then I held her hair when she completely fucked up everything
Forgot how I went against everything I believed in on the 3rd of January 2015
Forgot how I could've been on Canary Islands doing coke with a Swiss bank director
(haha, no. not that one. never that one.)
Forgot how I cried on the train thinking like I've just made the biggest mistake of my life
Forgot how I've felt like the happiest person in the entire world eating shit cheap food in the middle of the market on that november morning
Forgot how I fell in love with the biggest mistake of my life

You've caused me a LOT OF harm
You've also given me the best memories in my life

I'll never smoke another cigarette underneath the smoke detector the way I've done it with you
I'll never get drunk in some random person's basement the way I've done it with you
I'll never...

Oh, maybe I will.
But it won't be the first time.
And the first time was all your fault.

I love you so much I don't know how to stop crying for over an hour
I love you so much I know leaving You was the biggest mistake of my life and possibly also the best thing I've ever done to save myself

I love so much, that I'll be back, even if You'll be the death of me

I love you so much...

I almost feel like you were an actual person.
A stinky, charcoal-y, fume-y, dark, foggy, annoying, childish, unpredictable and absolutely beautiful person.

I love you.
I missed you.

You bring the worst in me.
Sometimes I like it.

Reposted bycarmenluna carmenluna

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